Slow motherhood didn’t come naturally to me.
In fact, I’d argue that rushing through life is the comfortable way to live. If everyone else is bragging over their perpetual busyness, shouldn’t you be too?
If every single one of your child’s friends are being rushed from one activity to the next, shouldn’t yours be too? You want them to “fit in” after all.
What if it’s overwhelming you? What if you’re overstimulated by the constant bustle?
Get your shoes on! We needed to leave for soccer practice 5 minutes ago!!
Hurry up, we’re going to be late!
These are just a few of the phrases that ring in my head when I think about my childhood, perhaps they remind you of yours as well.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Let’s ask ourselves, why are we in such a rush? Whose story are we telling? Are we simply repeating patterns?
If you’re feeling the call towards slow motherhood, you’ve come to the right place.
Motherhood Enters the Chat
I’m not sure about you, but my transformation from maiden to mother wasn’t exactly graceful. Not at all, really. It was turbulent – full of tears, night sweats, anxiety, and overwhelm.
It wasn’t until I stumbled across the concept of slow motherhood that things began to shift. That the pressure in my chest started to let up. That my in breaths got deeper.
If you’ve been searching for that relief too, I believe you’re here for a reason.
Perhaps you’re overwhelmed by the influx of things that we’re told we need in order to raise a child.
Perhaps you find yourself anxious about the full schedule
Tips for Practicing Slow Motherhood
Slow motherhood sounds wonderful in theory, but in practice, it’s a different story.
Here are my six tips for practicing slow motherhood:
Put the phone down.
I’m dead serious about this. Put it in another room. Put it in a drawer. Put it completely out of sight. I’m always amazed at the sheer amount of times I unconsciously check my phone whenever it’s within reach.
Stop the comparison.
There’s a fine line between inspiration and comparison. While it’s great to allow other mothers to inspire you, as soon as that turns into comparison, it’s time to pull away. There isn’t one singular way to mother. There’s a bajillion. In fact, each of our children need a different mama. There’s a reason they chose you to bring them into this world. They need your love and no one else’s.
Lower your expectations.
I don’t mean this in a negative way whatsoever. I mean it in the most expansive way possible. Each and every moment we have as a mother is such a gift, whether we spend the entire day snuggling or we’re productive af and knock every task off of our to-do list. The more attached you are to an outcome aka the more you expect things to go a certain way, the more you’ll be disappointed. And we don’t have space for disappointment anymore, so let’s reframe this together.
Get outside as much as possible.
Nature is such a wonderful reminder that everything blooms in its own time. Being in nature also reminds us that we, too, bloom in our own time.
A flower doesn’t look at the flower next to it thinking, ah, they bloomed before me. I must do everything I can to make sure I bloom bigger.
Rituals & rhythms > routine
What’s the difference? Routines have set times, rhythms have flow.
Routines are rigid, rhythms are fluid.
I get that we think we need to be somewhere at a certain time, but chances are that it probably isn’t a life or death situation (even though our brains can very much go into fight or flight over something as minimal as being late, speaking from experience here).
Say no
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good play date. Finding community in this whole motherhood thing is really important to me. However, scheduling an outing every single day can get old quick. If you’re wondering why you’re feeling so overwhelmed, yet you’re feeling the need to constantly have an activity planned for your child, that may very well be the reason.
I encourage you to practice making space in your schedule.
What comes up for you around this?
Are you fearful of being alone with your own thoughts?
I say this in the most loving way possible, that may be something worth exploring.
Final Thoughts on Slow Motherhood
Call it what you want – intentional mothering, conscious parenting, slow motherhood.
Slow motherhood isn’t a destination that you arrive at. It’s a journey. One we’ll be on for the rest of our time on this earth. Motherhood doesn’t end when they turn 18; it just changes shape.
There’s so much beauty in that.
